See what I meant when I always say "happiness is short-lived"? I thought I was having negative thoughts when I typed that saying down, but time and again, this phrase seems to be shooting its arrow back at me. When I'm starting to feel this bit of happiness(how vague), I tried my best to hold back the bad premonition. Despite my effort, the bad still befalls. Probably, I can never, be the beholder; not even a word.


Expectations and promises, seem to stand on the same line even though they mean totally different. "I don't expect you to promise." Yet, "I promise myself to expect you to know." Am I being unreasonable to say this? Am I being too selfish to expect you to do little sacrifices for me? Is it so difficult? Or, should I use the word "worthless" on myself?


When rationality-buddy come knocking into my senses, I struggled. I gasped for air, but it felt as if I'm breathing in CO2 and out oxygen; I died. There's this lovely angel and red-hot devil debating among themselves in my body, I no longer am myself. I've lost the ultimate control, I drop-dead. I surrender. I compromise. I smiled. (R.I.P)


To both of you, my deepest regrets. my sincere apologies, I'm sorry. You are not obliged to comply to what I want, thus, do what you deem fit and right. (: Stay glee. Laugh the happy smiles...

-while I cry my happy tears-


I am okay, already. Don't ask me how I'm feeling, my answer will be, zilch. Tomorrow the sun will shine brightly and stupidly still, i am awaiting..






(Don't pretend to be concerned about me when you jolly well don't. I only know your existence and that's all. I never hate people, don't be the first one)