i've been thinking especially alot today. many negative thoughts have been running through my mind, even up till now. i thought i'd broken through my own self and got back on track, but up to today, i realised that all the while i've been masking myself through every single day. why is it always these same old things bothering me? can't my brain just stop processing such thoughts for at least one day? i know there's no point telling this to anybody, because i jolly well know that the only one who can help is me, MYSELF. i guess no one really know how i am feeling everyday. When I smile and laugh happily, it doesn't always mean im really happy. If you're observant or sensitive enough, you can see through me. The reason why I masked my emotions behind my smiles, is because there's no point affecting the people around you with your own funny cranky negative feelings. At this point of time, i'm making a real BIG decision. This decision may affect my entire life, many other third parties, and probably myself. It's time for me to come down with a pact with myself, do or not to do?

well, this is just one of my "down" entry. i just thought i need to write it down somewhere before my thoughts run even wilder.

allineednowismy'light'.