time to be strong.

nv nv nv in my 17 years of life, had i been in such a dilemma b4. certain things i can say over here, but certain things, well, sadly, i can't. i really want to join, i wan to toughen up myself, be it mentally or physically wise. but when somethings or some ppl try to be funny or act bias-ly towards me, when i did ABSOLUTELY NTH rong. i don't know how long can i tolerate it. the situation now im in is seriously serious. i got only 2 routes to choose. 1) If i go for it, i MUST go all out. 2) If i know i won't be able to take this, den DON'T START AT ALL. that's my own point of view. i mean, now this thing does not onli involve myself, it involves him, the people ard him , and maybe, my friends. a BIG THX to JR for talking me out. but unfortunately, i still dare not make a decision. I joined becos i don't want to have any regrets. Now that if i join, i'm afraid i will have regrets too. WHAT DO YOU WANT MAXINE?!!! If i join, there will be alot of consequences i have to face. ppl's possible "takan-ing", the eye of ppl's aim, no time for alot of things, alot of sacrifices, personal tired-ness, stress and alot alot more. But If i dont join, i will miss out EVERYTHING. I REALLY REALLY DUNNO. all i feel now is to cry out now. i don't want to leave Coco alone too. i don't want to let ppl feel that i can be belittled. *sobbbss* i think only God can enlighten me now. becos right now, i wish all this nv started. i should hav consulted him b4 deciding. someone pls clear up the mess i am in now. pls pls pls.